What McArthur would have said:

"The levels of aggression and violence are a vital part of our way of life. Allowing the hippies to reduce them using their hippy orgasms, marijuana cigarettes and veggie pizzas en masse will lead to coup d'etat in the American war machine."

The time for action is upon us!

A hippy website, http://www.globalorgasm.org, was launched recently as a virtual blueprint for the hippy movement to coordinate their orgasms and internal energies to disrupt our way of life and our vital and necessary warmaking abilities.

So quotes the website:

The mission of the Global Orgasm is to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy. Now that there are two more US fleets heading for the Persian Gulf with anti- submarine equipment that can only be for use against Iran, the time to change Earth’s energy is NOW!

The goal is to add so much concentrated and high-energy positive input into the energy field of the Earth that it will reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world.

The results will be measured on the worldwide monitor system of the Global Consciousness Project.

I, for one, am amazed at the literacy of what I'd assume is three bare naked hippies writing with bean stalks using their own dried dung as ink. I imagine before they passed this toilet paper of a letter on to their hippy/eco-friendly web editor it looked something like this:

hour mishin make energie goez high like smokie mary-jane sigrets

earth energy fieldz go high man, way up in sky wear eagles sore

attack US army we luv Iran <3 <3 <3 terrorists

These hippies clearly know the exact locations of our fleets and submarines. According to Dr. Neil Patrick Flannigan (a U.S. Army scientist studying how radioactive material can be good for the skin) discovered one orgasm to have the equivalent of 4 sticks of dynomite against the earth's energy field. A hippy orgasm is almost twice that due to the massive drugs pumping through their systems. Dr. Flannigan later created this chart:

ORGASMS REQUIRED TO DESTROY:
Aircraft Carrier: 350,000
Submarine: 185,000
F-15 Fighter Jet: 54,000
General's Jeep: 12,000
Our Family Values: 1

SOLUTIONS:

1)

Kill hippies. In the past, mass meditations were easily disrupted by strategic missile strikes. The hippies are a habitual people, they spent most of their time "hanging out" near brothels, railroad tracks and organic markets. Large packs can be identified from space because of the excessive smoke clouds emitted by their bongs and cigarettes -- only a few civilan casualties were reported and these numbers were found to be acceptable.

2)

Sterilize them. The easiest way to do this is to seize their marijuana cigarette supply without them knowing, and mix it with a little progesterex. The funnest way to do it is to hire a bunch of cowboys, round and lasso them up and cut off their weeners. Burn aforementioned weeners or they'll just pick them up and turn them into eco-friendly handbags. We don't need to give them any more ideas.

3)

If they're going to orgasm for peace, we need to orgasm for wanton destruction! Make sweet love to your wife and think about tanks and jet fighters and nuclear explosions. If you're not married, give yourself a good stroking. I know what you're thinking, "isn't masturbation a sin?". Yes it is, but God will let this one slide. For good measure, when it's time, ejaculate on a colony of ants or a roach or something. It's death will only add to your transmitted energy.

"They're not so bad", you say? Imagine a world where bear skins are the only currency. Where people freely have sex with other people walking down the street, where clothing and bathing is optional. With 24-hour loud music but no sounds of car engines or laundry machines. A world where it's unacceptable to run over a village with a tank division or bomb a city block to kill a terrorist. A world where having sex with horses, large cats and bears is no longer a perfectly acceptable private activity, but a perfectly acceptable PUBLIC activity!!! The hippies cannot be allowed to desimate our way of life.