Ages have passed since the violence between the Gallus Domesticus and the Phasianidae reached such tremendous proportions as it did today. Over a thousand fowl spilled their blood on the fields of battle that would very likely determine the outcome of the entire war. Heroes were made and cowards were exposed. Their strategies and tactics, leaders and secrets are revealed in this exclusive interview with soldiers who were there on the front lines.
Animals have walked the earth for thousands of years longer than humans have. In our short time on this planet we've invented cellphones, computers and soft serve ice cream. Animals have had centuries longer to evolve and what do they have to show for it? This article takes a small sampling of some of the more popular animals and reviews their value in today's warfare against humans and each other.
Over the past few weeks I've been swamped with requests to write a comprehensive tutorial on the construction of a giant "take this" laser. Finally (after falling victim to the vampiric cries of one Jacob Pasterlynn), I've decided to complete this sought-after manual of conquering and destruction.
A hippy website, http://www.globalorgasm.org, was launched recently as a virtual blueprint for the hippy movement to coordinate their orgasms and internal energies to disrupt our way of life and our vital and necessary warmaking abilities. Enter WAPOE, the Warmongers Against Peaceful Orgasmic Energies.
As much as I enjoy having sex with horses, I'm starting to realize my dreams of fathering the world's first centaur baby may be unrealistic. Still determined (now more than ever!) to father the first half beast half man baby, I investigate several other possible animal candidates to make groundbreaking coitus with.
It has come to my attention that one of America’s greatest treasures is being laid to rest. The F-14 Tomcat, a symbol of our countries air power, is being retired. This is a large blow to the American public, fans of the plane, children, and war vets with nothing better to do. Join me with a look back at the planes life, the movie Top Gun, and possibly Starscream from the Decepticons, pretty sure he was an F-14. You know when he wasn’t like a robot.
I'm proud to release a new addition to the website: Chat Logs. You'll find it in the "Other Sections" link above or by clicking on the image to the right. The idea is simple, join a busy chat room (Britney Spears, Nascar, etc.) and pick out a random loser to carry on a completely random conversation with. Sit back and let the hillarity ensue.
All of your favorite odious celebrities, together at last in a massive battle royal. Who will be victorious? You've heard their vexatious jibberish over and over and over again. Can Jared the Subway guy throw a punch? Can Tony Little hold his own with a sword? Can Billy the Oxy-Clean man take on a Roman chariot and live to yell obnoxiously about it on late night infomercials? I'll rate all your favorites!
I've added a new area to the site especially for insult pictures. These are those images you find on forums and message boards all over the place. Well I've made quite a few of them and I have a pretty good collection of good ones other people have made, so this is their new home. Check it out, vote for your favorites. You can get to this area of the page by clicking on the Other Sections button above or by clicking here.
It's a proven fact, summer is the hottest month of the year. With temperatures at or exceeding 100 degrees Fahrenheit (300 million or so Celsius), malice cultivates as you ponder stabbing the sun in the eye with a large spear because the jerk is trying to fry you alive like an egg in a friggen skillet. Having put up with enough of this crap, I wrote the sun (or as I call him, Ra) a letter a few weeks ago requisitioning him for a sit down interview.
dandlefairy (dan-dell-fare-ee) n
A yellowish fairy that awards sailors with a tantalizing show including a replication of broadway's "Rent" re-enacted by the award winning cast: Marina Del Nari, Romeo Van Peterstein, and the beautifu...
April 13, 2007 
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